Turning someone down when they ask you out on a date IRL is mega hard. Valerie and Regina talk strategies about how to decline a date, even when you're caught off guard. Honesty is the best policy, but also it's good to have some quasi truths in your back pocket. Saying "I have plans" works nearly all the time. We all have plans, even if our plans are to do nothing. "No thank you" is an appropriate response but yet terrifying to put into practice. Learning to reject people is important. Far too many people go out with people and end up in relationships because they're being nice! This only leads to tragedy , like the movie Irreconcilable Differences, starring Ryan O'Neal, maybe?
Comparing yourself to other people has never been easier now that Becky can post all day long about her good hair on social media. Even the healthiest people are apt to compare themselves when we're constantly viewing feeds of successes. But life's not a race or a competition or what have you. Regina has tips for avoiding comparisons and tells us all about her new phone and the Best Buy metalhead who sold it to her. Valerie shares about procrastinating and a bad psychic who farts a lot. Plus, Keanu, and a short synopsis of the movie Single White Female.
Judgement: what is it good for and where does it come from? Valerie thinks judgement helps us approach life. It's easier to cut things out or include things if we can form a judgement around them. Regina thinks it comes from her grandma.
Maybe we're judgy because back in the day, cave people had to use judgement to compartmentalize which berries were poisonous and which were delicious. Everything comes back to the cave people, which explains the popularity of the paleo diet.
Basically we're all judgmental assholes if we're in a bad mood, but if we're happy, we're pretty chill with everyone and everything. Being judgmental can sometimes be a blast (gossiping with pals) and can sometimes be exhausting (when a person is judgmental all the time). What's the difference between judgement and discernment? Regina and Valerie discuss and learn about the term viveka, a Sanskrit term for taking an objective approach, which even though it's more difficult than straight up judgement, leads to a fuller life.
Erotic romance writer and ethical non-monogamist Jessica Taylor has an honest conversation with Help Wanted about polyamory, swinging, and alternative relationships. Why is it more socially acceptable to cheat than it is to be out in the world as a polyamorist? What's the difference between polyamory and swinging? What are the advantages (awareness about oneself) and challenges (feeling like the odd man out)? What's a triad, a quad, a "v," and a unicorn? Jessica goes through a glossary of terms, shares her experience of how she found this lifestyle, and discusses resources, including podcasts, that are helpful for people exploring ethical non-monogamy. Podcasts change lives and can turn people into polyamorists! Regina and Valerie also talk about Pablo Neruda, essential oils, and what a mess texting is!
We have a hard time connecting with people because we are terrible listeners. Everyone feels like their opinions are the most important. So if you want to connect with people, listen to them and treat them like they're a star when they're talking to you. Or,if that doesn't work, just gossip about someone you both can't stand.
Valerie has a hard time believing people gossip about her, and is arageful meditator. Regina ate a Big Boy in Detroit and prefersconnecting with friends over ice cream.
Also, did you know Valerie had a birthday? She talked about it fora month and finally it happened and hopefully she won't bring it upin any future episodes. Until next year.
Plus Prince, birding, Avon, and Mary Kay.